Why is it Taboo to talk Money?

I think like a lot of people in the FIRE community, I really enjoy talking about money. To be honest it would be high on the list of most interesting topics of conversation I could have with people (maybe after talking about sport).

But why is it taboo to talk about money in general society, even with close friends and family, and specifically personal finances. We all know in Australia how everyone seems to love to talk about house prices and how they just keep going higher and higher and how much they think their place is worth now, how if they do some renovations it will add this money value and so on. But that is normally as far as the conversation reaches.

Think about the last time you talked in detail about shares with someone who was not part of the FIRE community, when was the last time you talked about ETFs, rates of return, brokerage fees, dividends. All these wonderful things that have become parts of our lives, that we just do not talk about in our daily conversations.

I am lucky, I have a couple close friends, and some people I have met on forums who are also on the FIRE life, so it is relatively easy for me to have conversations about these topics with these people. But with people outside of this group, the conversation just never seems to organically head in that direction, and if I did try and force it in, it would not be welcomed and would be received as uncomfortable.

Now look, I get it, some people do not like talking about money, and I am not saying everyone should be comfortable. As soon as you realise someone does not enjoy talking about it, then don’t push the issue, just let them live their life and try and focus on things that they might find more enjoyable.

I have been doing some research into the matter and just from personal experience I believe the main reasons why we do not like talking about money is the following:

• Tradition
• Vulnerability
• Ignorance

Tradition – This is not so much a reason, as the underlying reasons are what has made it a tradition. But like other questionable things we still carry over from the past. It was just the way it was always done, so that is the way it was done now. You hear stories of employers expressly forbidding employees talking about their own salaries (more than half of all employers commonly include pay secrecy clauses in their employment contracts – you can read a bit about pay secrecy HERE).

When you were growing up, how often did your parents talk finances with the children in the house? I cannot speak for anyone else obviously, but I know in my life it was never discussed, I had no idea how much my parents earned, I had no idea how much they spent on cars or groceries or bills or anything.

This is just a couple of examples, but it does show that tradition plays a part in why discussing finances can still be seen as taboo even today.

Vulnerability – This one is a bit hard to explain, but I guess people do like to keep secrets. They like to be able to keep things to themselves that only they know. Finance matters is just one of these things we can keep secret to ourselves, and by doing so it can allow us to be protected from any potential ridicule.

As soon as you find out how much money someone makes (especially if it is vastly different from your own salary), people might think it would be difficult not to make immediate judgements on them. Whether they make some astronomically high salary and you start to feel jealous, or if they make a low salary and you start to feel pity for them. I don’t believe the majority of people would be so judgemental, but it would save any potential embarrassment if it was just kept secret.

Exposing our finances is just another way of becoming vulnerable to the people around us, by keeping it secret it can be another way to protect us from the external negatives in the world.

Ignorance – I do not mean to say this like a bad thing, because there is nothing wrong with being ignorant to things you just do not know about, and if you are never taught them, it can be difficult to find the motivation to learn about something you might not even know exists.

Even myself, I only really learned about ETFs and how they operated about a year ago, so back then if anyone tried to bring them up to me, I would have nothing to offer the conversation and it would go real quiet real fast.

A lot of aspects in the financial world people do not bother to learn the details about, at least not enough to have a discussion. They might know the bare minimum about home loans, enough to sign up for one, but not enough to understand what you mean when you talk about LVR or equity or something like that.

Conclusion

I believe those are the main reasons why as a society we find talking about money taboo. Which is a shame, because there are so many valuable things that can be achieved if we did talk about money regularly.

In another post I will explore the benefits of being able to talk about money and how it can help strengthen relationships with others. As well as improve your own knowledge on the subject.